Guilt or Irritable Bowel Syndrome

Do murderers get over their guilt, just as I will eventually get over this cold? Or does guilt become a chronic condition, like Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS)? Liable to pop up in the most inconvenient of places?

Let's say you're the life of a party, and they're all around you awaiting your next bon mot. A song comes on...where did you hear this song before? Oh yeah, it played on your car radio while you were trundling your victim off into the woods. (This is assuming you are a non-psychopathic murderer, and that the memory would depress you.) You turn pale, start sweating and excuse yourself.

Now, let's say you are not a murderer, but that you suffer from IBS. You're at a party, surrounded by adoring women and/or men. One offers you a cheez whiz. Refusing it would offend a potential hook-up...and it's just a cheez whiz, for god's sake. So you eat it. And then you turn pale, start sweating and excuse yourself.

Disregarding the implications of jail and all that, which would you rather admit to? That you're the one farting, or that OK, you killed someone?

I'm sure you yourself would say farting, but I bet some people would hesitate.

Hair shirt

Once upon a time I really wanted to wear a hair shirt, a'la Thomas More. I googled some nunnery that promoted the wearing of hair undershirts and asked them where I could buy one. They emailed back asking me my religion (I was/am an atheist), did I know hair shirts were scratchy (yes, that was the point), and had I really thought this through (no). It just seemed an easy way to be a better person.

They wouldn't tell me where I could buy one, and eventually I threw my giant hair ball away. Now I'm not sure why I thought it a good idea -- I mean, whenever I feel the least bit sick, I turn bitchy. How would a hair shirt make me feel?

What's more, Thomas More hid his hair shirt underneath mounds of red brocade. I would've had to hide it under a sequined tank top. Gads, I can't imagine the comments I'd get in the bars here if I went out in one.

P.S. I'm feeling sick and bitchy right now, in case you're interested.