Three Men in a Boat or I Love Babies!

I had the most embarrassing moment just now: I was in Starbucks ordering a latte when a pleasant looking boy (about 18) came in and said, "Excuse me. Do you mind if I ask you a question?" Not at all, I said. "Why are you so happy? We saw you coming and going, and both times you were laughing."

Now, on the way there, I was only especially happy, because I was listening to my IPod Touch -- finally got ear-pieces for it, and realized it's so much fun listening to music! But on the way back, I was recounting a particular line from Three Men in a Boat, which I find excruciatingly funny. But, I was laughing so hard, all I managed to get out in answer to the boy was something about cheese and "dead baby." The boy crept away. The coffee attendant was now looking at me funny, too, so I decided I had to explain myself. The boy was outside sitting next to a girl, and I went over and said the dead baby line was from Three Men in a Boat, an English classic, and I'd just assumed he'd read it, being British. He hadn't. Luckily, I had it downloaded on my IPod, and showed him the paragraph.

"OK, now I understand." The girl said, "I thought it had to be about a boy."

"In that case, I'd be weeping. Of course dead babies don't typically make me laugh."

Then I noticed the woman sitting next to them...with a baby. "No, I love babies! Just looove them!" I went on and on about how much I loved babies (almost said "especially living ones," but thought better of it. But, it was like the woman could read my mind, because she smirked in unison with my thought).

The girl said, "You do? I do, too! I just love babies! All my friends think I'm so weird! I work in an obstetrician's office! Aren't babies the best!"

As a matter of fact, I'm quite blase about babies. Luckily, she started talking to the other woman about babies, and I made my exit.

Of course, now I'm obliged to include the pertinent lines from this most hilarious book, Three Men in a Boat. The narrator has carried an odorous cheese onto a train, and soon gets the carriage to himself:

"The remaining four passengers sat on for a while, until a solemn-looking man in the corner, who from his dress and general appearance, seemed to belong to the undertaker class, said it put him in mind of dead baby; and the other three passengers tried to get out of the door at the same time, and hurt themselves."

Imagine how funny it'd be if you read the whole paragraph!