Hair shirt

Once upon a time I really wanted to wear a hair shirt, a'la Thomas More. I googled some nunnery that promoted the wearing of hair undershirts and asked them where I could buy one. They emailed back asking me my religion (I was/am an atheist), did I know hair shirts were scratchy (yes, that was the point), and had I really thought this through (no). It just seemed an easy way to be a better person.

They wouldn't tell me where I could buy one, and eventually I threw my giant hair ball away. Now I'm not sure why I thought it a good idea -- I mean, whenever I feel the least bit sick, I turn bitchy. How would a hair shirt make me feel?

What's more, Thomas More hid his hair shirt underneath mounds of red brocade. I would've had to hide it under a sequined tank top. Gads, I can't imagine the comments I'd get in the bars here if I went out in one.

P.S. I'm feeling sick and bitchy right now, in case you're interested.