My dad went to China and all he got me was this lousy...

My dad came home from China and gave me a jade bracelet, the bird flu and yet another XL t-shirt (I'm 4'11" and 94 lbs, so maybe he's mixing me up with some other daughter he's got socked away somewhere. Of course, if she's the size the clothes he buys me would indicate, she'll need something more capacious than a sock drawer). But, the XL t-shirt ended up going well with my bird flu. I asked him when he'd be going to stay with my brother. He said he wouldn't until I was all better. Then he said, "I went to the grocery store while you were sleeping and got some wine. Would you like a glass?"

Luckily, I didn't have the strength to say yes.