Trying out 24 Hour Fitness

I finagled a five-day free pass to the new 24 Hour Fitness gym in HB, so this morning, I went and tried it out. There were rows and rows of machines all facing the same direction. I managed to find an empty elliptical; my neighbors ignored me as I got on and started a controlled flailing. In front of me, a tattooed girl side-stepped up her stairmaster, staring off into space, while a middle-aged man marched next to her, staring at her bottom. Neither had any expression.

I felt like a foot soldier in the midst of all this purposeless activity. And I wondered what it'd be like if instead of work-out clothes, we wore North Korean army uniforms. It did seem like we'd make a good army -- there we were marching in formation without even the threat of a little dictator. And I felt sure that if my machine took me out, no one would notice...except maybe for whoever wanted to take my place.